At night, when I am unable to sleep, I often watch movies. My tastes range from superhero (that's my son's doing) to spy shows (The Unit, Chuck, Covert Affairs), light comedies, and sometimes just whatever pops up. Tonight I came across "A Vigilante" with Olivia Wilde - about domestic abuse. I noticed tears running down my face as Olivia's character, Sadie, told her story about the violence from her husband. But it occurred to me that I wasn't necessarily crying because of the character's situation... I was crying because she had a very real tangible enemy to fight.
But epilepsy?
God I wish it was tangible so I could beat the shit out of it. Make it leave my boy alone. Stop it from stealing Weslee's memories, personality, wakefulness ... his ability to live. I mean... REALLY live.
But it can't be fought with fists, or guns or even words or cleverness. It has to be fought inside his head (even though he losing a little bit of himself every day), and it's being fought with the aid of science and medicine and (hopefully) caring doctors.
Sure I track his meds, keep his schedule and appointments, lose sleep so I can keep him from dying, watch and listen every second of every day. But I feel so powerless.
I hate feeling powerless.
Thoughts?
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